mama mia!!!

Ah, life must be really cool if you have followed your dreams of being someone, right? Come to think of it, life is surprising. Like your friend finally having someone to call her "own". ^__^
Your other friend having a little angel like yours! Another one in the making of an angel, and another friend that works.
Life these days are tough than ever. My beloved a.k.a. my dubilixus husband is having anger issues, what he does to me when i am talking about something important keeps me "stupefied". Morgan on the other hand, is quite charming and annoying in her own little way. Exercising these days are shit. I usually wake up at around 10 or 11 am, body seems to like sleeping a lot these days. (it happens)
So how am i suppose to give my body a burn and a brunch if my own eyes can't keep up in the am, right?
My own relationship with him nowadays is quite difficult. I really want to work things out with him, but it seems "S.F" is much sexier than me.
A few days ago, i was viewing the profiles of my friends in Friendster, and to think they matured in looks and stuff. Kinda envied them too, since they still get to enjoy their "single" lives while i loath myself at home. The worst part is seeing them all glam and sexy with flat tummies while i look in the mirror being disgusted by the way my tummy is formed now. Oh how i miss the "before-i-got-pregnant" days. Tummy used to be so flat, and the indication that it was flat is my "nunal" at the right lower side of my waist (which looks great when i wear jeans..i feel very sexy when it shows), and now? that "nunal" is bigger in size, still flat though but is now located at the upper hip bone. *sheesh*

To think that i have thoughts of infidelity when it comes to him because i don't feel that beautiful anymore, but is it really the basis of beauty? I think not. I want to improve myself in a way. I want to be more responsible in things, eat wiser, cook better, take care of Morgan better, and be a better wife. I am hoping to marry someday. I am contented with life, i dont want to see myself in a call center answering calls forever. I want to work in a company, be an editor or something that is in line of my work. I want to do the things i love, take care of the people i love as well. As Morgan grows every year, i am thinking of having an own place in the future, send her to good schools as well and have a very succesful life. As for now, i still have issues with myself, including my sleeping patterns that i have to end. I need to read more and learn more.

I need to be better in benefit of other people as well. I need to be in good terms with myself first before i start being better with other people, like my sister always say, take it one step at a time.
Ciao everyone, and thanks.