" You miss him doncha?" my heart would scream out...
"The good times are over! There is no use going back every now and then.. he will never love you back!" my mind would constantly remind my stupid heart.
My mind and heart are mortal enemies.. they never sync.
Right now, dubi is still here for me, regardless of me being a total ass. I told him everything.. what i feel. I wanted to leave him so that i wont hurt him. But if i do that, my feelings for Mr.4068 will still linger on, i won't be able to move on. If i stay, i risk hurting him every time i think of him, every time i stare and in no mood for anything. Why am i this bad? I should have stayed away. I should have stopped when i had the chance.
I know that no one will love me the way i would love them back. I am incapable of being loved back greatly. This are the words i put in my head and hope to live it to the extent that i would die by myself.
Happiness has been robbed due to acts that i stupidly done and that were soon attached to lies that lead to heartbreak. Even the only person who holds the key to the truth backed away to save himself. Stupid asshole. I cry every now and then when i remember the good times i have. Its no use. No one really cares, no one even understands.
For now, i want my happiness back. I wanna lay back and smile while we both look at the same moon we get moody at.
I hope for better days.. please.. i need more of those kinds of days.
