Sad Christmas yet

"Christmas is about family"


What if the family you want is no longer there.. even for a day. Its fucked up.  Today is the worst of all holidays i guess. I can't help but enjoy myself in the company of friends that i missed for quite some time. Is it wrong to enjoy other company without your hubby? I don't think so. Made me think if this is the one that i want for some time. I love my baby girl to bits but sometimes, i gotta have my own time. I can't be just stuck at home or be back before 12. I've been through a lot of shit and hanging out with friends is something i enjoy. I hope they'll realize that i'm still a person and that i need "me" time. Unfortunately for me, Dubi left me all alone on xmas eve.. mom still a bit angry. I miss real and happy xmas.. i think i'll never be able to have them. Im just looking forward to the future that will hopefully make the rest of my life  happy. I love everyone, family and friends. I just hope i'll be happier.


Someday i will be, i know i will. For now? Friends will be there to make me happy when my personal life sucks like shit.  Morgan will always be the sweetest little girl in my life.