why did i even bother to look back..

Things happen for a reason and here i think what could the reason be this time?

I should have not looked back. Oh the feeling was freaking great while it lasted. It left me scarred yet again by the thing i was scared to touch. Now it's just a cold feeling. It's not all bad.. but in general.. it still is.God damn it, Angela.. when will you ever learn from those mistakes?

Patience--- why do i need this? So that everything will be fruitful? That it will feel so great? When will i see happiness in me again? In comes Mr.Patience..

Faith--- i always hear this. Faith in what? In love? in Life? In work? I want to hold on to one aspect of faith here. I just don't know if its worth it. Sometimes i do feel stupid, dragging myself to this kind of situation. Lucky enough that i got to be loved.. sad that it had to be so soon.

Life-- where will it take me?? Who will i spend it with? Will it be a good one? One step at a time.. as painful as it is.. we need to close our eyes and move forward.. always keep moving forward.

Work--- i love this.. i met all kinds of great and shitty people here. It made me stronger.. in a way. Mature and immature as well. Toxicity my dear. Work is just hella toxic. kudos to "Chiem" for that great work in slapping me with work recently. It keeps me sane. Seriously.

Where will all this shit bring me then? Will this make me live life again? Will this just make me more vulnerable? Will things go worse? How will pick up the broken pieces without getting wounded by reality?

Always..as always at the end of every waking  day, i ask myself: Will I ever be happy again?